Trading Lingerie for Tools

A couple weeks ago, I bought a skirt and some, er, ladies undergarments. But they’ve been sitting in their bags, tags attached, since I brought them home. I guess I’ve just been too busy to put them away.

Recently, I’ve had to replace a washing machine, have my box gutters relined and have the house painted. But these somewhat-expected expenditures are not what’s undermining my clothes-purchasing habits. Last weekend, I crossed the woodworking Rubicon.  

With just enough discretionary funds to order the apron plane I’ve been wanting from Veritas, I packed up my car and drove to the Woodworking in America conference last weekend. At the first free moment I had, I hustled over to Wally Wilson in the Lee Valley booth and placed my order. Then, I walked back toward the Popular Woodworking booth to check in with Linda Watts, our art director, who was running the bookstore for the weekend. I stopped along the way to say hello and chat with other toolmakers and sellers, and struggled mightily to avoid looking too closely or covetously at the tables full of seductive wares.

Then I got to Dave Jeske’s Blue Spruce Toolworks booth. He had a lovely olive-green lignum vitae-handled fishtail chisel that I simply couldn’t resist. So I pulled out the credit card and scrawled my signature, and said I’d be back on Sunday morning to collect my new tool. So the skirt will have to be returned (it’s olive green, too, so that’s a even trade, right?). Dave also had a couple chisels with blue polymer-infused maple handles that would look great with the mallet I bought from him a few months back. But I already have chisels in both the sizes he had on hand, so I resisted that Siren’s song.

On Sunday, I went back to pick up my purchase. As Dave was wrapping up the fishtail chisel, I picked up the 1/2″ blue dovetail chisel again. Then I pulled out the credit card.

So I guess it’s fair to say that last weekend, Dave Jeske talked me out of my skirt, bra and panties.

– Megan Fitzpatrick

14 thoughts on “Trading Lingerie for Tools

  1. Larry

    I built a valet for myself a couple of weeks ago when the normally hotter-n-hell Dallas 100 degree heat subsided to just near hell, but not quite there mid 90’s. So after I placed it in the bedroom my wife asked for a similar one, but with some different elements. So I told her that I just had to get a tenoning jig, as cutting them with my miter gauge was too problematic. natch she said OK, and so when I went to my local woodworkers store and bought it, there next to it was a new miter gauge that was softly whispering, buy me, that basic 25 year old one you have isnt that good. OK I said, giving in. So returning home SWMBO asked me for the damage report. When I told her she sighed, then said, well, I guess I dont get those fall pants just yet.

    Pre-emptive strikes work best, dont you think?

  2. David

    Ha! That was amusing – both the line and the rather obvious fact that you know that most of the audience for Woodworking anything are old men. 😉

  3. Kevin Thomas

    I could think of lots of things to say, but they would probably get me in trouble. Just something about sexual harrassment that scares me.

  4. K. TIpton

    Megan thank you for the biggest laugh of the day. I can so relate on the draw of a new tool. I have had to make that choice many, many times and it seems the tools always win. A shop full of tools trumps a closet full of cloths any day.

  5. Ron Godbout

    Megan, I can’t tell you how happy I was to see your by-line at the end of the lingerie article. I thought it had been written by one of the guys.

    I can relate to the temptation of new tools, though.

    Ron Godbout
    Northfield, NH

  6. Shannon

    I picked up that Lignum chisel and saw Megan scrawled on the back, sighed, and put it down. That is one cool looking tool. I’m jealous.

  7. Mike

    I shouldn’t have been eating a popcicle when I read the last line, Megan. Cold chunks of orange ice tried to come out the nostrils.

    Very funny.

  8. Duane

    It’s really tough to read a post like this in Google Reader when is says that Christopher is the author.

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