And the Moto-Saw Winner is…

First, thanks to all of you who entered – I had a hard time deciding on a winner. In the end, I guess I’ll have to chalk up the winning entry to my sometimes-sophomoric sense of humor. And without further ado:

Congratulations to Ronald_T, for his winning limerick:

I once tried to chisel a mortise,
But my mallet was too soft and porous;
If this happens to you,
The blue pill won’t do,
You’ll just end up distracted and ferrous

And for those of you reading this for the first time, the original post follows:

Christopher Schwarz, in keeping with the philosophy he espouses in “The Anarchist’s Tool Chest,” has been culling his tool collection and keeping only those he truly needs. At the recent Lie-Nielsen Hand Tool show at our office, he was selling some of his less-than-necessary tools (I succumbed to tool lust and bought his 18″ Lufkin) – but not everything sold.

Did he take the unsold tools home with him? No. No he did not. So I’m getting rid of them. Herewith, I issue this challenge:

Because the Moto-Saw (a motorized coping saw) strikes me as wholly ridiculous (I mean really – for the type of cut one would make with a coping saw, how hard is it to move one’s arm back and forth?!), I’m holding a ridiculous contest. Write a limerick about woodworking tools, the woodshop, projects or anything related to woodworking and post it in the comments below (keep it clean – PG-13 at worst, please). The one that makes me laugh – or better yet, snort – the most wins the Moto-Saw. You have until Friday at noon.

Here’s mine:

The Moto-Saw got some new wires
To keep it from starting a fire.
But poor Sparky got scorched
So we’re passing the torch
To a woodshop with burning desires.

You can read about Chris’s acquisition of the Moto-Saw here – and find out why one of his nicknames is Sparky.

— Megan Fitzpatrick


39 thoughts on “And the Moto-Saw Winner is…

  1. Marlon1

    “You can read about Chris’s acquisition of the Moto-Saw here – and find out why one of his nicknames is Sparky.”

    Now we know why he has started his pursuit of the lost art….

  2. jhloggins

    As a woodworker Meghan’s unmatched;
    In fact she works unattached.
    That’s a skill with hand tools,
    And she suffers no fools,
    But a sharp guy would find her a catch!

    The early woodworker, a joiner,
    Made things of great beauty–nothing plainer.
    Meghan’s shown some great skills,
    And learned from her ills,
    That the best work oft’ times needs a partner.

  3. oldfox

    In case I should win this great prize
    I think it is just the right size
    I’ll build it a table
    of which I am able
    I just like to accessorize

  4. matbel

    There once was a man name of Chris,
    who thoughts of more tools would dismiss.
    But, though his saw skills had nary a flaw,
    he tried an old Moto Saw,
    to see if it’s copes would be bliss!

  5. oldfox

    The Moto-Saw without a cord
    will thrill you whenever you’re bored
    just think of poor Chris
    so happy ’bout this
    that someone else the saw has scored

  6. Tom

    Reflecting on tools that didn’t work, I offer the following laments:

    There once was a man from West Fane,
    Who bought him a razor blade plane,
    He put in a sharp blade,
    But no shavings it made,
    So he sold it to a guy up in Maine.

    This guy bought him a tool at the fair,
    “Will remove paint!” the showman did swear,
    When at home this to prove,
    The paint wouldn’t remove,
    So he threw it in a drawer in despair.

    I bought me some tools at a meet,
    This screwdriver really looked sweet,
    After buying the tool,
    Found it wasn’t so cool,
    Cuz the handle was loose, wouldn’t seat!

    At an auction bought tools as a lot,
    And some of them looked really hot,
    But upon close inspection,
    (and further reflection,)
    I had bought things that I should have not.


    I saw this saw for the first time right here, your write-up was clever, and the saw I found dear.
    The saw it’s a classic, the concept is great, why wear out your arm, when you can sit and just wait?
    I would cherish this tool, for its use as intended; I am begging you Megan with my handshake extended.
    I deserve this fine tool and will put it to use, and to you I promise it will see no abuse.
    Let me have it and to all I will show, that the arms back and forth motion is really quite slow….

  8. BoWoodworker

    I do have burning desires
    And experience at working with wires
    So please pass me the torch
    With it I’ll work on my porch
    Though it will take much longer than fires!

    I sure hope it doesn’t arc, EEK!
    I could end up much worse than Sparky
    That would ruin my day
    But then, what the hey
    Moto-Saws are real cool, no malarkey!

  9. oldfox

    If you want to do beautiful work
    then go where the good old tools lurk
    see Schwarz for the best
    the cope is a jest
    when it’s gone he’ll rest with a smirk

  10. Bradinsc

    “I could really use a moto-saw!”
    WHY? Megan asked with GALL!
    Are you lazy,
    or just plain CRAZY?
    Neither, I explained,
    somewhat ashamed…
    I can mess up jobs whilst manually coping,
    an electric one would solve that issue, I am hoping!

  11. oldfox

    There once was a craftsman named Megan
    who’s workbench she thought to be pagan
    she built a new bench
    that’s fit for the wench
    so then the old bench just went beggin

  12. tms

    There once was a sawyer named Chris,
    who’s tools gave him nothing but bliss.
    But while adjusting his fleam, he let out a scream,
    for the gullet and rake, he had missed.

  13. oldfox

    There once was a mallet called Mongo
    who went up against the great deadblow
    then came the great test
    to see who was best
    and poor deadblow had to bow real low

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