Ridiculous Woodworking Books (Give me More!)

ridiculous woodworking books Splintered Crotch

As I work on the upcoming article “Young Maker’s Bookshelves” (for the October 2017 issue), I’m reminded of one of my favorite-ever posts (from 2009): “Ridiculous Woodworking Books, ” by Christopher Schwarz – mostly for the hilarious responses.

But that was 8 years ago – it’s time for some new ones.

Here’s a few from me (which are at best merely amusing):

“The Ultimate Guide to Craft Fair Crap” (an homage to Chris’ 2009 post)
$300 is a Lot of Money” (If you haven’t seen Wilbur Pan’s video, well, you must)
“The Big Book of Handcrafted Door Stops”
“Lathe Safety: A Guide to Hair Ties”
“Artisan Wedges”
“I Meant to Do That: BladeBurns & Tear-Out as Decoration”
“Here, Hold My Beer: A Tale of Triage”

Leave your titles in the comments below – the title that makes me laugh the most will earn the commenter a copy of “The Art and Craft of Cabinet-Making,” our hardcover, high-quality reprint of David Denning’s 1891 classic (which is not ridiculous, though the prose is amusing); I just happen to have an extra copy at my desk. To be entered in the “contest,” post your titles by 6 p.m. (EDT) Sunday (June 18, 2017).

ridiculous woodworking books tree from a chair

Credit for this title to Christopher Schwarz

— Megan Fitzpatrick

p.s. I like silly titles; I came up with a list of possible renovation mystery books on my personal blog one day as I was framing out the shower.


62 thoughts on “Ridiculous Woodworking Books (Give me More!)

  1. BlueEnamel

    Masterclass: Grain Matching and Finishing Techniques of the Big Box Stores

    Advanced Marquetry and Veneering: Replicating the Look of OSB

    Fixing Your Friends’ Cheap Chairs for Fun and Profit

    So You’re an Artist: 50 Everyday Jobs that Can Pay the Bills

  2. patpfund

    Tails First: Carving Wooden Coins for Fun and Profit

    (Actually, I like Jim Dee’s real title best. Good thing I already have my Denning!)

  3. wgeyer

    I thought a good title for woodturning for dummies would be “Bowling for Dullards”

  4. rpatrick

    Woodie: Carving the Anatomically Correct Male Genitalia

    Sorry, this one might be a little too off color for a family magazine. I understand if it doesn’t make it past the censors, but thought you might get a chuckle out of it anyway.

  5. ctdahle

    Doorstops, Shims, Paint Mixers, Glue Applicators and 25 Other Projects for Beginning Woodworkers.
    Particularly Perfect: Beautify Your Home With Projects Made From Salvaged Particle Board, MDF, and OSB Scraps.

  6. Bnystrom

    “The Handplane Lovers Guide to Making Hamster Bedding”
    “I Have to Build Something Now!? – Simple Projects for When You Run Out of Tools to Sharpen”
    “Step Away From The Plane – Intervention Strategies for the Tool Obsessed”

  7. condondo

    A Splintered Life: Confessions of A (Cheap) Woodworking Addict
    Chapter 1: The Beginning: It’s Norm’s Fault
    Chapter 2: The Fall: Power Tools Corrupt Absolutely
    Chapter 3- The Addiction: I Love the Smell of Shellac in the Morning
    Chapter 4- The Skids: Stop the Car-I Think That’s 5/4 White Oak!
    Chapter 5- Redemption: Anarchy and Woodworking? Who’d have thunk?
    Chapter 6- Epilogue: PWM- Just when I thought I was out…they pull me back in.

  8. Box

    “True Recycling: How to copy everyone else’s projects on your YouTube channel for Fun and Profit!”

  9. J Ryan

    Hiding from my Inlaws: The Art of Handcut Dovetails

    Woodworking: Still Cheaper than Meth..Barely

    The Boat in the Basement- Silent Woodworking with Leroy Jethro Gibbs

  10. pmac

    “Lost Digit, Found Money: Suing Tablesaw Mfgs for Fun and Profit (Even When it’s Your Own Damn Fault)”

  11. tomwolber

    Grain Expectations

    Tuesdays With Moxon

    How To Hide Hand Planes From Your Spouse

    50 Ways To Shoot Better Instagram Photos Of Your Tools And Not Appear To Be Bragging

  12. wonkothesane

    “Shop Made; How to outfit your garage to look like you can make stuff.”

    “1001 Things you can do in a workshop instead of mowing the lawn”

    “Furniture for the Tasteless and the Tacky”

    “Wooden Toys no child wants”

    “Timeless Heirloom Immortality Guaranteed Furniture for the Beginner”

    “Purpleheart and how to burn it”

    “Turning the Horse Apple”

    “The Better Homes and Gardens Guide to Profanity in the Workshop”

  13. lochridge

    Underhill’s revenge: those flakes ain’t candy and what not to drink in the woodshop edition 2

  14. bhanlon

    Woodworkers First Aid Book: How to Stitch Up Your Chisel Mishaps With a Needle and Thread You Make Yourself

  15. Wimman

    Hearing Protection – Because Your Marriage Is Important
    How To Shop For That Homemade Look
    Twelve Tool Review: 1 Dozen Investments You’ll Wish You Had Skills For
    Woodworking – Next Time Will Be Better…ish

  16. msggreg29er

    Why Knot? How to use number 2 pine in all your projects.
    How to make cooking utensils from pressure treated lumber scraps.

  17. Guadfly

    “How Do I Get This Canoe Out of the Livingroom” 10 Remodeling Ideas for the Woodworking Who Doesn’t Think Ahead

    1. rrvchief

      A Hepplewhite Highboy from Pallets and Pocket Holes
      Artisinal MDF Projects
      Stanley Tools Manufactured in the 21st Century Collector’s Guide
      Man, Moment & Machine; Norm Abrams, 1989, and a Brad Nailer
      The Woodwright’s CNC Shop

  18. themavericktexan

    Birdhouses for Kitchen, Bath and Bedroom
    Hand Tools Are for Suckers
    Traditional Joinery Techniques with the Cordless Drill
    All Your Furniture Should Be Pine: Why Hardwoods Are Overrated
    Stress Relief Techniques for the Frustrated Woodworker
    Love Your Woodpile: Advice for the Woodworker with No Time.

  19. jshroyer

    2×4 to Sculpture While You Wait
    How to Become a Woodworker That Collects Tools
    How to Lose Money on Building Furniture for Your Friends
    By Stone & Stick – The Ultimate Pre-Hand Tool Resource
    Woodworking in the Kitchen
    Wood Finishing for Dummies – Paint
    WoodTalk Podcast Transcripts
    Lumber Hoarding for Beginners
    Make Your First Piece of Furniture After 10 Year of Building You Shop

  20. B Livicker

    -Woodworking for Beginners: How to try everything and finish nothing
    -Woodworking for Beginners: How to recognize when your friends and family are just being nice when they say your ‘Stuff’ is ‘Awesome’
    -Close Enough: When microns become meaningless
    -Artisanal Firewood: Projects from your first year of woodworking

  21. pmac

    And another…

    “Save That Saw Dust: Your Ultimate Guide to Recreating IKEA Furniture at Home”

  22. Mystic Carver

    A Close Shave : Planes and Table Saw Edition

    Joinery Fails or How I learned to love the Kreg Jigs

    Why does my Sawdust Pile Smell Like Cat Poop and other Weird Tales of Open Shop Doors.

  23. Mike

    50 New Words To Use While Making Dovetails
    The Frowning Spouse: How To Hide Your Latest Woodworking Tool Purchase
    Turn $200 Of Wood Into A $20 Cutting Board

  24. pmac

    “A Lumber Guide for the Middle-Aged Woodworker: How to Get Wood, Keep Wood And Make it Last Longer”

  25. bradrubin

    Woodworking in Antartica
    The Woodworker: The non-Charles H. Hayward Years (pamphlet)
    Eskimo Workbenches: Xeroxed Edition
    Trump/Clinton Campaign Furniture
    Against the Grain: You’ll just figure it all out over time
    Mouldings in Theory
    Make a Tree from a Joint Stool
    The Fascist’s Tool Chest & Design Book
    The Art of Disassembly
    The Expendable Woodworker
    By Foot & Mouth
    To Make as Expensively as Possible: Roubo on Book Publishing
    Chairmaker’s Yellow Sticky

    1. Megan FitzpatrickMegan Fitzpatrick Post author

      Well I was going for imaginary…but the impetus on the first post was indeed some real and crazy-sounding ones!

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