Woodworking in America: The First Boring Catfight
I mean, who doesn’t like a good girl fight?
In high school, fights among the boys were boring. Lots of posturing. Maybe some shoving. At best they might clasp into some Greco-Roman grip that would immobilize both of them for up to five minutes. Yawn.
Give me Heather “Cat Food” Barker vs. Tammy “Runs With Scissors” Gentry any day. There was always some hair pulling. The occasional dirty punch. And, if you got lucky, some good bloody fingernail scratches.
And that is exactly what you are going to see at Woodworking in America in Valley Forge, Pa., on Oct. 2-4. Heather Griffin, the conference’s organizer, and Megan Fitzpatrick, our managing editor, have vowed to compete head-to-head in the boring competition at the conference’s Hand Tool Olympics.
The two first met in boring battle at the Hand Tool Olympics in St. Charles, Ill., where they vied for last place (Megan came in third from last. Go Megan!)
This week in the office, things are getting ugly.
Heather stopped me in the lunch room and said she had three (printable) words for Megan: “Game on, girl!”
I took the message to Megan. She replied:
“Oh, she is going down!”
Quick side note: Megan issued this counter-challenge while snacking on a little spreadable goat cheese that was blended with Vermont butter and spread on a freshly baked herbed mini-baguette.
But before you put all your money on Heather, rest assured that Megan is going to practice at boring. I told her she didn’t need any practice.
I am so dead.
– Christopher Schwarz