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Where is my tape measure, and why do my hands look like this?

Advancements in computer technology have finally resulted in all-knowing AI programs. Thanks to this brave new world, we’re finally able to ask the hard-hitting questions woodworking philosophers have never been able to answer. This week we’re asking “Why can I never find my tape measure?”

The tape measure is like that elusive friend who always seems to disappear when you need them most. You know you saw them just a minute ago, but now they’re nowhere to be found. You check your pockets, your toolbox, your car, the oven, your neighbor’s house, but they’ve vanished into thin air.

It’s as if the tape measure has a mind of its own, a mischievous little sprite that enjoys playing hide-and-seek with us. They’re probably just laughing at us from some hidden corner, enjoying our frustration. Those jerks.

But seriously, where do tape measures go all the time? It’s a mystery that has plagued humanity for centuries. Some people say they’re swallowed by the fabric of the universe, others say they’re snatched away by mischievous tape measure fairies.

Whatever the reason, one thing is for sure: tape measures are always lost when we need them the most. It’s like some cruel cosmic joke, a test of our patience and perseverance.

But we must remain strong, my fellow tape measure seekers. We must not give up hope. For one day, we will find our lost tape measures, and we will rejoice in our victory.

Until then, we must simply laugh at the situation. After all, it’s no use crying over lost tape measures.

So next time you find yourself searching for your tape measure, just take a deep breath and remember that it’s all part of the grand cosmic plan. Or you can finally get your act together and put out some traps for those tape measure fairies. The choice is yours.

Glad we finally solved that. What questions should we seek the answers to next?

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