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week Megan Fitzpatrick, our managing editor, is in Washington, D.C., to
allegedly visit her mother and fix stuff around her mom’s house. But
this morning my boss, Steve Shanesy, may have uncovered the truth.

U.S. Supreme Court is looking for a cabinetmaker to supervise its six
employees who repair and modify the furnishings of the Supreme Court.
Don’t believe me? Here’s the link.

It makes sense. And she’s actually qualified for the job:

• High school diploma? Check. She’s a doctoral candidate in Early Modern Drama.

Extensive knowledge of the characteristics of a variety of hardwoods,
softwoods, plywoods, veneer, wood substitutes, gluing and bonding agents
and related woodworking materials. Check. Ask her about her deep
knowledge on SpeedTape.

Experience in dealing with high level government officials and other
dignitaries. Check. No one has been better at ingratiating herself to
the various CEOs of this publishing company. Before I hired her to this
position, I feared her in her last position.

Plus she would look good in a robe and a big fluffy wig. Not that it’s a
job requirement, but I bet one of the justices would loan her some
cast-off robes for fun.

— Christopher Schwarz

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Showing 10 comments
  • John H. Mead

    Ask Megan to respond to her email – even a form letter wouild suffice.
    And what’s a HTML?

  • PeteW

    The big question is: what was Shanesy doing when he uncovered that job vacancy??

  • Charles Davis

    Wow, that’s rough… on vacation and you end up shoveling a ton of snow and then find yourself the butt of coworker humor??

    Things just don’t seem to be going your way, Megan… I’d be checking my luggage for a fish about now if I were you.

  • Martin Shaw

    Robert, I believe it was 150 feet of sidewalk, not snow.

  • Sandy Navas

    Shhhhh – you just gave away. Megan has been in a WPP (witness protection program)and you have given it all away. I am so glad you didn’t show her photo with this posting.

  • John Cashman

    Wait a minute. There’s a background check. You don’t actually think her cover can stand up to that kind of scrutiny, do you?

  • John Cashman

    I’ve had enough of the snow up here in the northeast as well. How about a magazine subscription drive? Send Megan up here to shovel and I’ll renew mine for ten years.

  • robert

    150 feet of snow – that’s some storm!

  • megan

    Very amusing. This morning, the extent of my labor has been to shovel snow off 150 feet of sidewalk. I’m now longing for the bottle of ibuoprofen that’s in my desk drawer.

  • Chris k

    She is buried in snow now!

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